you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
