I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize