one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize
