Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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