Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize