So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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