The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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