Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Randomize
