Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Randomize
