let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
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What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
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He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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