The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
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