So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
