I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
