OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
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