does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
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