there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Randomize
