Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
It's official drugs can't kill me
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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