I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
