She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize
