He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
wow bdsm is so cute
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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