i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
