I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
