Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
