If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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