Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
