She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
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