just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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