So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
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