there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
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