It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
