so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Randomize
