How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I think people are normalizing furries
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
