fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize