pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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