come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
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