We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Randomize
