I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
