Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Randomize
