u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
