I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
