i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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