he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
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