i'm lost and i look like a hooker
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
