Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
