Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
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