I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
