They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
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