Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Randomize
