I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
