Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
