This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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