yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Randomize
