A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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