Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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