It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
