Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize