well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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