The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
