May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
