Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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