Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Randomize
