He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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