i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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