i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Randomize
