So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
i'm signing you up for texting rehab
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
